Auntie Nangy

Can I use KY jelly?

Question: 

Dear Auntie Nangy, Can I use KY lubricating jelly during sex?

Answer: 

Yes, just make very sure that if you keep it in the fridge for some reason, that you don’t confuse it with the other kind of jelly, which can lead to all sorts of embarrassing situations, or for that matter, a lot of fun.

He wants me to have an abortion

Question: 

Dear Auntie Nangy, I have a problem, I am pregnant but when I told my boyfriend about it he said I should make a plan and get an abortion. I need help.

Answer: 

Abortions in Namibia are illegal and it is something that you should not even consider regardless of what your boyfriend says. I know that you feel that everything is against you at the moment and your boyfriend is not supporting you, but remember that there is always a solution. Please contact Lifeline/Childline as they will be able to help you and o_ er you the support that you need.

He released on my panty

Question: 

Dear Auntie Nangy, I’m a 17-year-old girl and I have a boyfriend, we had sex one day and he released on top of my panty. Can I get pregnant that way? I’m also still a virgin. I really need help as soon as possible auntie.

Answer: 

Yes, you can get pregnant in this way as the male sperm can stay alive for some time and it needs only one of all the millions that he released to enter your vagina and cause you to fall pregnant. Auntie cannot emphasise enough that it is the responsibility of each and everyone to practice safe sex to avoid unwanted pregnancies and the risk of Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs). Condoms are still the best way to practice safe sex.

Sex at 12

Question: 

Dear Auntie Nangy, I’m a 12-year-old girl and I have two boyfriends, who are in Grade 9. I just want to have sex, but I’m a virgin and I’m afraid that I may fall pregnant even though there are condoms. I’m also afraid that they may break my bones.

Answer: 

Angel, there is a very real risk that you can fall pregnant and besides that you are still so very young that you should not even be thinking about having sex as girls and boys of your age do not have the maturity to handle all the issues that are involved with sex. You should be out there having fun with your friends. You can trust auntie when I say that having sex at an age when you’re not really mature enough to deal with it will only cause problems and unnecessary heartache.

Erection problems

Question: 

Dear Auntie Nangy I am having a problem. I am in my early 40s and my penis does not want to stand up. Please help!

Answer: 

About 4% of men over the age of 40 suffer from it. Unfortunately there is nothing you can do to prevent the development of this disorder once it has appeared. You should see a doctor for advice but if the problem has been present for a long time, is not changing and is causing you much trouble.

I sweat too much

Question: 

Dear Auntie Nangy, My armpits sweat excessively, just like Ais-Ais hot springs, but it’s odourless. I shave twice a week as hair grows fast. What kind of barrier can I use?

Answer: 

Why use something? Rather build some bungalows around yourself and rent it out to tourists and advertise yourself as a living hot spa. Just kidding my dear! Fortunately your sweat is odourless as that is usually the biggest problem with excessive sweating. There are some really good antiperspirant products available from pharmacies, so try getting some help from them. You can also use talc or baking soda to keep your armpits dry. Speak to your doctor as it might be a medical problem that can be easily rectified.

I want a bigger penis

Question: 

Dear Auntie Nangy I am a 24-year-old guy and I have a small penis that always embarrasses me when I shower with my classmates. I have tried a lot of things but it did not help. Can someone who has done it please help me with some information about how to make it bigger?

Dear Auntie Nangy, I have a problem with my lover. We have been dating for two years and every time we have sex I can’t enjoy it, because her vagina is too big for me and my penis is small. We love each other, please advise me auntie. How can I make my penis bigger, is there anything I can do to make it bigger or her vagina smaller?

Answer: 

To the average man his penis is, consciously or unconsciously, one of the most important things in his life. No matter how often it is written that penile size doesn’t matter to a woman, most men are sensitive about the size of their organs. The average length of a non-erect penis is between 8.5 and 10.5 cm, but it is the size of the erect penis that is important and most penises are the same size when erect. It means that a man with a smallish nonerect penis will achieve about a 100% increase while a man with a largish size penis will probably manage about a 75% increase. The great majority of penises measure between 15cm and 18cm when erect, with the average fi gure being about 16.5cm. What men tend to forget is that it doesn’t matter how long or how short your penis is, because the vagina will accommodate itself to any length. The length of the vagina of a woman who is not sexually excited is only 7.5cm and when aroused it usually extends to a length of about 10cm. This means any man’s penis will fi ll a woman’s vagina completely unless in the very rare case of a man with a penile length of less than 10cm. The vagina has the most remarkable capacity for lengthening if something is introduced into it gradually and that is why a woman can accommodate any size penis. If you are really worried that your penis is the wrong size then see a doctor. The only thing that can really increase penis size is surgery, but the expense is very great and there is a big risk of complications like bleeding, infection or deformity. Pills, penis enlargement exercises or creams and penile suction devices are basically useless so make peace with what you have.

I haven’t started menstruating

Question: 

Dear Auntie Nangy, I have a problem. I’m a girl of 14 with big breasts, but I don’t understand why. I haven’t started menstruating yet and even kids younger than me menstruate.

Answer: 

Angel, puberty for girls can start any time between eight and 13 years of age and a girl usually start her periods about two years after the start of puberty. Puberty is when a girl goes through all the changes that will prepare her to be able to have a baby. First you will start developing breasts but it can take five years for them to reach their final size and shape, so as you can see both of you are going through normal puberty even though your breast development is different. Normally a girl will have her period by age 14 but it is not unusual that some girls only get it by age 16.

Am I still a virgin?

Question: 

Dear Auntie Nangy, I’m a virgin and I was forced to have sex. The guy was just at the entrance of my vagina, but it felt as if he was inside me. He was at the entrance until he ejaculated. Does this mean I’m no longer a virgin?

Answer: 

Love, being forced to have sex is called rape and it is a terrible ordeal to go through and it is important that you talk to someone about this. Violence against women and children must never be tolerated and you should actually go to the police and charge him with rape. I suggest that you phone Lifeline/ Childline if you don’t have someone to talk to that you trust and will be able to help you.

Vaginal discharge

Question: 

Dear Auntie Nangy I am 18 and I’m worried, because every time I finish menstruating some clear fluid comes out of my vagina. I don’t have a boyfriend yet. Auntie do I have a problem or is this normal? I am so worried.

Dear Auntie Nangy I’m an 18-year-old girl. I have a problem. I always release smelly whitish liquids through my vagina. I’m scared to see the doctor because I’m shy. And sometimes I feel like having sex, but I don’t believe in sex before marriage. What should I do about my sexual desire and these liquids I release?

Dear Auntie Nangy I am a 14-year-old girl, there is always come yellow discharge coming from my vagina. Can you please help me auntie, what should I do?

Answer: 

Auntie would like to answer everyone that writes in with problems but that is impossible, as I just get too many SMSes. That is why I will sometimes try to answer questions that are about the same problem, like the above ones, at the same time so that you can see each one of you is important to me. Vaginal discharge is normal. In fact, it is necessary to help clean your vagina as well as keep it lubricated and free from infection and other germs.

Your normal discharge does not smell bad or has no smell at all and can appear as milky or clear when it dries on your clothing, but there are some things that can change the appearance and consistency of your vaginal discharge like your menstrual cycle, emotional stress and pregnancy. Some medications like the pill or even your diet can have an influence.

If your vaginal discharge changes colour, becomes heavier or smells bad and there is itching, burning, swelling or redness around the vagina, you most probably have an infection. Most women will have a vaginal infection at some time in their lives and most infections have no apparent cause but seem to occur in times of stress or other illness. A doctor can identify an infection easily and the treatment is not complicated.

To answer your individual questions; producing clear fluid after menstruating is normal, there is no reason to be shy or embarrassed to see a doctor as they see this problem almost every day. As for the sexual desire, there is nothing wrong with masturbating as it is a normal and healthy practice so you can do this to relieve your sexual tension. It is also a good idea to see a doctor regularly for a check up.

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